I’m going to complain, and I apologize…

Well, because,

Sometimes I just want to feel, and other times I just want people to recognize that I want to feel.  

Because I feel annoyed with myself and situations that I can’t control, nor need to control.

Because I really just need a hug sometimes and not a stare.

Because people think they’re funny, but really they’re just a giant cliche of a national epidemic of stupidity.

Because no one has a stance on anything anymore.  Everyone is a false rebel, protesting very real crimes.

Because I have more work than I can fit into my backpack. 

Because I really want a good cry over a dumb movie instead of crying over a dumb emotion.

Because I try and be the friend I would want.

Because I make lists in my head, but forget them, because I start to make new lists.

because people who don’t Capitalize words at the beginning of sentences are assholes.

Because I like to say the word asshole and don’t understand why it’s censored on reality television   Just a bunch of fuckin’ ass****s.

Because I don’t have a plan realistic enough to achieve or a back up worth living for.

Because I’ve been happy for the past few weeks and I need to write or vent or something before I burden one of my friends with my woes.

Because I wish I could always unload on my friends without feeling guilty.

Because I talk about myself and am absurdly self indulgent. 

Because I see so many stupid faces everyday that I would kiss if I were given the chance.

Because if I kissed any of those stupid faces, I’d get smacked.

Because I was going to start to work out.  I thought it would be worth my time, give me something to do.

Because my day is filled thinking about other people’s lives and how they intertwine with mine.

Because I obsess over the present more than I obsess over coffee.

Because coffee.

Because most people won’t make it this far into reading.  If you did, valent effort and a medal awarded to you!

Because my heart is heavy with the burdens of today and the hopes of tomorrow.

Because everything I say feels loaded.

Because nothing is original.

Because I have awful morning breath.

Because I wish I got more texts that read, “I love you”.

Because I wish that wishing to get more texts with meaningful words didn’t sound needy, whinny, or desperate.

Because I drank to much last week.

I drink to much.

I hold onto things to much.

Because only new friends think I’m funny.  Everyone else thinks I’m weird.

Because I want to get away and not tell people where I’m going.

Because I’m a jealous person.

Because I can’t get everything I want, because everything I want is to much to hold, not enough to talk about and to lackluster to consider it anything out of the ordinary.

Because I have a script due soon.

Because I don’t have clean socks.

Because I want power not recognition. 

Because I can.